It's ok, don't worry, it's just that it's easier to answer this way
There isn't much configuration on the project side besides setting the renderMode to direct and enabling depth & stencil buffers. Unfortunately, there are many reasons why your project might have performance issues on mobile. Mobile optimization isn't a trivial topic and can be hard to track where the problem actually is.
One thing that I discovered while porting YellowPlanet to the iPad was that raycasting functions would slow down execution to a crawl, specially when using mouse picking on complex meshes. Examining your demo, it seems to make heavy use of mouse picking and unfortunately, our current picking routines aren't yet optimized for mobile usage (we have plans to fix this, though).
So, one thing you can try is to simplify mouse picking by using invisible, simpler meshes (like cubic prisms, for example) instead of the actual car mesh. That way Flare will have to check fewer collisions, reducing CPU usage considerably.
Another idea is to avoid using 2d displaylist content along stage3d content because that really hurts performance. This might not be easily solved, though.
Also, besides the polygon count, you seem to be using quite a few complex materials and lights. Reducing the complexity of the materials and reducing the amount of dynamic lights might give you some performance gains. Try something like scene.lights.techniqueName = LightFilter.NO_LIGHTS; for example, and see what happens.
As a first step, I'd remove all mouse events and updates just to see what kind of performance we get. That should give you an idea of how the actual GPU performance is, and tune that to get maximum performance. Then, re-enable the input features trying to minimize the performance impact as much as possible.
Keep me updated and I'll try to help you, good luck